Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The Creepin' Oldies!

I turned 50 in 2007. I found it to be quite a shock and much more difficult than my 30th or 40th birthdays. I have a feeling that 60 will be easier.
So, why the difference? Well, mentally I've never gotten much past 16 anyway. I now have two grandchildren. My oldest son turned 30 last May. I'm beginning to look A LOT like my mother who, as you know, has always been old. And I hurt in places I didn't know could hurt and am willing to discuss it with anyone that asks. (I have a male colleague who always says that he's stiff in all the wrong places!)
My politics have creeped from the left to the far left. Was it in "Annie Hall" that Woody Allen talks about the woman with a shopping bag that stands on the corner screaming about Socialism? While I don't usually carry a shopping bag I do have a purse that contains my entire life. If I were marooned on a desert island (or more likely here, snowbound) I could survive on its contents. There are currently 5 different types of medicine, two spiral notebooks to remind me of my bright ideas and passwords to various Internet sites, a huge wallet, 4 pens, a box of Gobstoppers, a check book, and a nail buffer. If my granddaughters are visiting there is no limit to what I might be carrying around. What I don't have is a cell phone. I really don't like to talk on the phone unless I initiate the call. Also cell phones are complicated and I feel dumb.
My taste in music places me anywhere from ages 40 to 80 in terms of preference. My taste in movies is definitely skewed to the oldies; Dodsworth, The Treasure of Sierra Madre, The Grapes of Wrath... I also appreciate the outrageous; Mystery Science Theatre 3000, South Park, The Simpsons, Futurama, the Naked Gun series, Young Frankenstein. Also, the unintentionally bad; The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand wrote the script!), a Summer Place...
You might catch me reading anything from "The God Delusion" to "Little House in the Big Woods".
As for sex appeal, I wish I'd have taken advantage of that when I was 17. I spent my 20's, 30's and 40's being frumpy and now am trying to release my inner hippy. I don't know which is less attractive. Working as a receptionist has helped but we live in a pretty casual "anything goes" kind of town that few people dress up in.
Oh for a time machine that would allow us to go back and be young but know the things we know now!

19 comments:

Snave said...

Hehehe! Good post!

I think I know at least a little bit of how you feel. I also turned 50 in 2007.

I don't have grandkids yet, and don't want my daughters producing any, any time soon... if they wait about 10 years, I will be happy.

I tend to like the same kinds of outrageous things you like in movies, but my musical tastes run much more current, which is something my kids admire me for, but also something which might cause them chagrin. I genuinely love newer music, but I often wonder if it makes me look like an old fart who is just trying to be trendy. Oh well, WTF if it does. I had a blast at the Sasquatch Festival at the Gorge last May and I plan to go again this year and to make it an annual event. Life is too short to worry about what other people think of me. Now that I am a member of AARP, that means I have earned the right to now worry about that stuff... right?

Ah, the inner hippie trying to get out! I was never quite a hippie, but I was close. Definitely into recreational mental excursions, outdoor and environmental pursuits, protesting against the establishment, and really thinking free love was a cool idea although I was about ten years behind the times when I was actually ready for something like that. I never got into vegetarianism (tried it for seven weeks and thought I was dying) or into recycling way back before it was popular. Nowadays I would love to let my hair grow out, but I've decided, again, WTF. I don't like messing with longer hair... a buzz cut is much easier to deal with in the morning. The idea of being a hippie reeks of the word "lifestyle", which is a word I have grown to despise over the years.

So I guess this is all just to say that with each passing birthday, I seem to get further away from that inner 16-year-old. I don't know if this is a good thing or not. I felt like I was emotionally about 16 when I was 40 and had a midlife crisis about that time, but since then I have tacked on years re. the maturity thing at what I fear is an alarming rate. I still have those teenish mental tendencies, but now I guess it feels more like my mind is closer to 30 that to 16 in a lot of ways. Sigh...

I wasn't "frumpy" in my teens, 20s, 30s... but I have never kept myself in good physical condition. I was always a weakling in grade school and junior high, and didn't really develop even a mediocre amount of physical strength until I was about 17. If there is one thing I wish I could go back and start, it would be a physical conditioning program, not to make myself "buff" (although that would have helped me in my mostly vain efforts with all those high school and college girls way back then) but rather to make myself into a healthier adult. Scheise... now it's time to start doing things like colonoscopies, etc. to find out what kind of benefits I will be reaping from years of being mostly sedentary... sigh...

If I could go back in time to about age 16 or 18 and know what I know now, I would probably not do much besides hunt for sex. But while I was passing the time with those pursuits, I would also eagerly anticipate the announcement of new stocks being available in unheard-of things such as "Microsoft", and I would be making some investments! 8-)>

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